Goodbye Blue Monday

this note began with garbage cans on my mind. we’ll get to them eventuality.
then again, maybe not.

a little ways down this note the images might make sense.
then again maybe they won’t.
that’s the way things are right now.

the photo above is a near-approximation of my thought process.
i don’t mind. i’m pretty ok with being scatterbrained.
i read somewhere that ronald reagan’s last years were his happiest.
i don’t doubt that there might be a connection to that hissing sound, my tenuous relationship with that lizard-guy who looks like omar sharif but sounds like eduardo ciannelli, my belief planet earth is going to hell in a handbasket, (a phrase i recall having google-linked a year ago) and the extraordinary relationship i’m involved in with a dear friend; a singular experience that makes me feel as lucky as lucky can be, where the dice rolled in the big casino seem to have landed on the point of the cube.

i need to temper my doom-ances with this;

……..a beautiful little nest.
my hope is for life and growth, regardless of humanity’s participation in it. as much as humans are part of nature, we’re also nature’s buzzkill if indeed that were possible.
this planet, if it had a voice, might say “huh? who’s counting?”
well, we are. we busy little bees.
it keeps certain members of us out of trouble while others of us are upping the score.
busy, busy, busy – that’s us.
we’re building and killing and saving and destroying and loving and hating and eating and counting and shitting and fucking and multiplying.
we’re animals in touch with whatever divine we can make up as we go along.
ain’t we a hoot?
i, for one human, am occasionally documenting.
i’m an expert occasional, half-assed, know-nothing – in the following pic, i am an experticus mossificationous………

then i become a rusticationous metallicous……

once, in my many conversations with that eduardo ciannelli-sounding guy (who looks like omar sharif), i brought this point up in defending humanity against their menu. (if you don’t know what i’m talking about, go here)
he said “that’s nice, however we don’t farm “that,” now do we?”
that’s when i first learned that we are “that” to “them.”

but i digress constantly…..and i ellipse continually…..
…..let me get to this note’s first words so i can dispose of them properly.

when i took the lease here, the most telling aspect of my broadway surroundings was this; there were no municipal garbage cans.
note, the link shows one of the garbage cans we’ve been getting out here.
there are trees in the background of this photo. that’s not here.
there were a couple of cans on the corners of broadway and dekalb.
from there to myrtle avenue, zero.
5-6 blocks of no trashcans or mail boxes.
up to a year ago, there were about four trash cans in that five-block-plus stretch. since then, i count fifteen trashcans between dekalb and myrtle.
we’re getting “used garbage cans,” not that i’m complaining.
i no longer have to carry maxx’s shit for blocks at a time.
for the life of me, the thought i had for this story went up like a puff of smoke.
i’m in my eleventh year on broadway, my fifth as a coffeehouse/venue.
i never considered photographically documenting this garbage-can history.
you’ll have to take my word for it.

in my last visit to gatewayland, i went all over and after my day – the beach at for tilden, the nuclear missile site, the paths and dunes, floyd bennett airfield, jamaica bay….everywhere i could think of in a three-hour time block. i went to new abandoned buildings and looked through other shattered windows.
i had a camera with a charged battery. boy oh boy.

i poured over the many images and noticed a recurring theme……

there seemed to have been many, many circles….

not that it was the plan, but there they were……

everywhere i looked…….

there, that’ll put a stop to it….for a moment.
maybe i need to go back to my glossary of mind and memory;
27. – Rehearsal – A cognitive process in which information is repeated over and over as a possible way of learning and remembering it. When it is used to maintain information in working memory, it is called maintenance rehearsal.
Had i rehearsed what i planned to write here, i might have a clue to what was on my mind, but keeping to spontaneous thought and action, sometimes you get the peanuts, sometimes you get the shells.
there, i used it in a sentence.
a few days ago, i may have rehearsed what i was going to write by way of the digitized images i took, but more than likely i am posting these pics with no distinct correlation to what i’m writing along with them.
there, i used it in another sentence that was a circular argument with myself.

how much circularness is running “around” in my my head?

i looked to the sea.
i stood straight and took a deep breath and hollered loud and long.
maxx jumped at my side, continually grabbing at my arms with his big dog jaws, alarmed at my behavior.
i’m sure my dog thinks that i’m “crazy as a loon” at times.
now, when i say that phrase, i wonder if i should thank johnny mercer for it. while watching a biography about him on TCM (imagine that), there was that line in “moon river” and there i was saying “hurrumph! so there’s where it came from….,”
ok, so maybe not, “harrumph.”
……..but holler and holler i did……i felt the vibrations rise through my stomach through my chest, straining through my throat and out of me, my head forward; ears, eyes and mouth stretching.
and i would do it again and again until i’m short of breath and i wouldn’t think for a second that there was no point in doing so.
belief systems die in a chapel of demolished pews….

3 Responses to “garbage cans as a sign of prosperity, new ruins, nests and the sea”

  1. Stacey

    Imagine….circles and circles and circles …..of life…….beautiful

  2. SMASH

    Geez. You got a good eye! Hell you have 2 good eyes!
    You should do one of those self published hard cover psuedo coffee table books!
    I’ll take a signed copy.

  3. jack

    Haven’t been to your place in forever but it’s one of the only bookmarks I put in my places to go file. I’ve just read a little of your blog and it’s profound like the storefront omni-emporium. Honest, humbling and very engaging. More than engaging. Simple eloquence, like here we are having these profound feelings that perhaps only become profound when shared. I put your words in a rare class. Thank you for sharing your experience, so generously, because, if I may, the feelings that compel you transcend any reluctance. I just lost my best friend, and this is a comfort. He was a poet too, a man who has lived.

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