Goodbye Blue Monday

about those twizzlers….

September 21st, 2009


like in itch that cannot be scratched, the memory of that red licorice began gnawing at me two weeks ago. i was in the bodega across the street buying i don’t know…tuna? and my eyes scanned the wonderful world of sugar that ringed the counter, assuming that somewhere among the bright, kid romancing colors was the bright red of strawberry twizzlers.
or are they cherry twizzlers?
i tasted it for a millisecond. the thing about those twizzlers is that they never “tasted” like strawberry OR cherry.
they taste “red” and they’re not red hots-red.

i credit them with getting me off cigarettes. those things, tic tacs and one, forty-dollar box of nicotine-flavored nicotine gum.
if you chew your nicorette real fast, you get the hiccups and a momentary high.
i’ll get high on anything.
i love gas stations.
but i digress.

buying a second box of nicotine gum, to me, was tantamount to giving that addiction a new pair of shoes.
i gave myself license to have all the tic tacs and twizzlers i can handle.

i was eating all the twizzler flavors, but the red got most of my time.
its color is real “eye candy.”
“no twizzlers” he said. (i’m still in the bodega – i go so many places sometimes, just standing somewhere)
“what?” i answered, “how can you not have twizzlers? everybody has twizzlers.”
“we don’t,” apologetically. he kept searching the counter. i think he was surprised he didn’t have them.
that was two weeks ago. this weekend i was in a CVSDUANEREADEWALGREENS and was getting back onto my baby asprin – the drug, not the band who plays at goodbye blue monday – regimen (because my heart tells me what to do) when i saw the island of candy.
i just wanted a pack of twizzlers.
i got the ziplock bag that goes “thunk” when dropped on a countertop or table. was it a pound or two? i don’t remember. i opened the bag and meant to eat one or two as i drove from manhattan back to brooklyn.
i ate one at a time.
when i got to the store, i took a handful and threw the bag onto the counter. that’s when i heard that “thunk” sound.
it could have been a “thwack” sound.
maybe i need to get another bag to get that sound right.
yeah, that’s it.

2 Responses to “about those twizzlers….”

  1. j

    it’s more of a ‘plack’ crossbetweenplopandslap. ah twizzlers. wherefore art thy twizzlers? somewhere in bklyn all ate up I suppose. once upon a time at a walgreens extravaganastic candy shopping spree type thing I spotted the most bizzare package of them twizzlers thangs. it contained the looooongest psuedo licorice whips Ive ever seen. those mothas had to be maybe three feet long. that’s three feet long EACH not tail to tail. in my estimation mutant twizzlers (can I use the word twizzler too many times? nope I cant) are limited. there’s only one purpose for something that flexible that edible that sticky when covered in slimy spit and one purpose only. y’know? (thank you m)

  2. Stacey

    4 oz Jagermeister and 1 can Red Bull….tastes like a twizzler…..but lacks the oral gradification and the ability to lick it and roll it around on your tongue…..oh yes “The Twizzler”….I have tried the pastel and the tutti-fruity but the red block that is like” red gold” is the best….mine never hits the counter it stays right in my hand

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