Goodbye Blue Monday

i heard someone say….

November 20th, 2009

…while waiting for sarah palin to appear to sign the book she bought, “i look at sarah palin and believe that someone just like me can be president.”
dear lady who finds sarah palin empowering – you’re an idiot.
i wish there was a kinder way of saying it.
this is the ignorance that got W elected and is the reason why we are where we are,
i said it before and i’ll say it again;
i don’t want anyone remotely as smart as me to be president.
i don’t want another everyman president.
i don’t want an everywoman as president.
i don’t want a cowboy or a cheerleader with a shotgun.
i don’t want anyone who shoots from the hip.
all you do is get shot in the crotch.
i don’t want any answers from god through an idiot no matter how articulate or well-dressed.
people who quote god are idiots or want to have something over idiots.
how do i know? god told me.
god said, “don’t listen to those buffoons, you dope. oh, and keep it to your damned self.”
ok. no, he didn’t.
god didn’t speak to me and didn’t speak to george w. or that putz on the 700 club or those douchebags in the C-street house.
god didn’t speak to gerry fallwell or that weasly televangelist who got caught with the hooker, or that other asswipe televangelist who got caught with the hooker…. or even that other putz televangelist who got caught with the girl who ended up with that comedian who was once an evangelist, who died when he was run over on the side of the road by a drunk teenager.
by the way, he came to scrap bar once or twice before getting run over, though since i’ve traveled to “the eighth-electro-plasma-ocean of the ninth dimension” he may have passed by once or twice after.
once that molecularly-electrical change happens, so much of us become so busy in yesterday and tomorrow that the universe becomes a walk in the park.

but i digress.

sometimes i might believe that maybe god doesn’t speak, but maybe god listens.
or not.

i brought up the existence of god to the grifting lizard guy who sounds like eduardo ciannelli and looks like omar sharif. the first thing he said to me was this;
“i knew you were going to ask me that.”
if you don’t know it, the grifting lizards love to pick our brains like a glutton at a shrimp cocktail buffet.

One Response to “i heard someone say….”

  1. Jennifer

    Thank you for this post. Too many people I know are obsessed with Sarah Palin. Psyched for the reading tonight and glad that any attempt to find directions to the space are met with wisdom such as that blogged above.

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