Goodbye Blue Monday

the UMBO BOX

September 16th, 2008

if you were to type UMBO into the browser, this is what you’d get!, however, there was an initial-driven meaning for this word that never made it to the internet or into Wikipedia; the u.m.b.o. box or the “utilitarian monetary bullshit organizer.” that’s what H.K. Thurwell called it, no doubt, a cynical man who got a secret-contract job that payed him oodles and oodles of money. little did he know that he too would end up as some lizard’s lunch. i was planning on going on and on about the UMBO box and how it took in economic “data” through one side of the box and spat out what might be considered a “real” or “arbitrary” number from the other side. because it was manufactured by a man in the service of the con-artist, man-eating lizards from mars, you could pretty-much bet the farm that those numbers were nothing but baloney, something america has no shortage of these days. the lizards have found this place to be a glittering palace of delicious rubes, a place where they could string together their fishing lines with just a little bit of greed and gather loads of willing chumps who would invite their friends to join them. the grifting lizards from mars love greedy americans so much that they co-opted the american symbol found on the back of the one-dollar bill, the pyramid, turned it upside down and placed the earth above it, about to be engulfed by the ever-growing pyramid base. if i had my druthers, where it used to say “in god we trust,” i would suggest to the the lizard people to replace it with “in pyramids we’re assured,” though i’ve heard that they use “bet you can’t eat just one,” no doubt equating humanity with potato chips, further causing them to howl with laughter when seeing the brand of potato chips they copped their catch phrase from.

now that’s putting us into perspective.

the world’s financial buzzards that are coming home to roost over the soon-to-be-decaying carcass of the american economy are the people who either eyed the u.m.b.o box with suspicion or never knew what it was. but that’s OK. mixed in among them are ever- more martian lizards wearing the skin of ever-more financial smart-asses waiting to introduce the u.m.b.o. box to them at just the right time. maybe sometimes the tragedy of wealth is the seduction and eventual loss of humanity by those who forget how to wield it. i don’t know, but in most cases, money changes everything. be careful of the people who tell you otherwise. they might not be from around here, if you know what i mean…..

One Response to “the UMBO BOX”

  1. Goodbye Blue Monday » Blog Archive » the umbo box and a deck of cards

    [...] dragging those words around for days (in my head), unable to do a damn thing with them. [...]

Leave a Reply

Proudly powered by WordPress. Theme developed with WordPress Theme Generator.
Copyright © Goodbye Blue Monday. All rights reserved.